It’s your one-week anniversary since Sheila or whoever tried to dump you. You find yourself scrounging through your shoe box of old photos, poems, candy hearts, and friendship bracelets last night because you couldn’t sleep. "We look so good together," you say to yourself while whimpering into a small garbage can that's shaped like Castle Grey Skull, "It’d be so silly for us to never see each other again."
Here's what to do:
1) Don't forget about her. That's what she wants you to do. Once you forget about her, she wins. You can't let that happen if you want to get more points.
2) Obsess. Don't have enough money for a periscope and are too afraid to climb a nearby tree so you can look into her window? There are plenty of alternatives:
A) Write a novella about her. People will think your so intelligent for writing a novella and soon you'll have her interest.
B) Write a folk album about her. Then you can open for the Dave Matthews Band on the road. Girls like that band and soon word will get back to Sheila that you're in the band and she'll want you back.
C) Fold together a life sized origami sculpture of her and bow to it every day. Then you won't even need to see her because the origami sculpture will be so life-like. Fold yourself a couple swans for house pets.
3) Find a song that perfectly captures how long it's been since you talked to her. Here's mine. Please find your own:
I think I’m going to call Sheila.
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