WANT TO STAY DEPRESSED? DON'T MISS THIS!

I taught myself how to do this.  You'll be surprised how often it works.

FUN FILLED MAGIC TRICK:   

1) Take an event, any event in your life.

2) Now think of a reason to be upset about it.    

HELPFUL HINT: Nitpick.  Really dig into your psyche and find things that make you completely upset.

Need some FUN FILLED EXAMPLES?  Try these on for size:

  A) Say you went to a wedding last year on August 15th in Easton, PA.  Maybe all you remember is meeting some great people.  But if you look deep, you'll realize that locked in your subconscious is a time when you regretfully tried to talk politics with a member of the bride’s family and really pissed him off.  Remember?  Now, with all your power, obsess about it.  Get really upset even though the whole thing took place at least seven months ago and everyone else has moved on. 

  B) Remember in fifth grade when you were starting to feel happy again because you were meeting people even though your family kept moving around the country and it was hard to make new friends?  You probably also remember the time you came in from recess, tripped on your own shoelaces, and sat in the middle of the hallway and cried because you were so embarrassed. Let that sink in until you feel worse about yourself almost twenty years later. 

3) Once you find events to obsess about, make generalizations. 

Example: “Because I tripped in fifth grade, that must mean I always trip and will never graduate fifth grade.”

4) Don’t stop there.  Label yourself and find blame for everything.  

Example: “I’m a klutz.  That’s why Sheila left me.  Why do I bother dating anyone?  I'm just going to keep tripping on my shoelaces after recess and have Ben Trackman call me pubic head.” 

HELPFUL HINT: Do this with as many events as possible.  Don’t stop until you’re in a bathrobe covered in stale Cheetos and new tears.