Reunion At Lilly Coogan's

I thought I was strong enough to go back to Lilly Coogan’s.  I figured they’d miss me and it’d be like when the Rolling Stones got back together.  We'd hug and then play a bunch of sold out stadiums.  Instead I just got drunk and watched Sheila and Harry make out.

(Above: Here's a shot of Sheila and Harry making out while Mick Jagger and Keith Richards smile for a photo in front of them.)

I just keep replaying the bad memories in my head like it’s a movie. 

I yell at Sheila and Harry. 

ME

Get a room.

A patron shushes me. 

ME (CONT’D)

How bout you shut the freak up.  Did 

you have a girl break your heart 

and make out with another guy 

in public right in front of you?

PATRON

Yea.

Patron points to a different corner where another couple is making out. 

PATRON (CONT’D)

That used to be my wife.

I fall off my bar stool.  Harry stops sucking Sheila's tongue and helps me off the floor.

ME (CONT’D)

Forget you.

HARRY

You should go home.  

You’re making an ass 

out of yourself.

ME

I’ll show you ass.

I stumble onstage and bump into TJ, who's singing about how close he is to God.  I drop my pants. 

FADE OUT

FADE IN

I wake up on street with my pants around my ankles.  I must’ve blacked out.  I look inside.  TJ's still onstage.  I try to stand but trip over my underwear.  I fall on my face and sleep until some businessman wakes me up.