CATCH YOUR GIRL WITH ANOTHER GUY, HERE'S WHAT TO DO!

Sheila, don’t think I didn’t see you at Lilly Coogan’s making boogy eyes with that fake, Harry.  That guy couldn't write a song if he tripped on a song writing handbook by a famous songwriter.  What is “How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?”  That doesn’t make any sense. “The answer is blowing in the wind?” I blew wind when I heard that.  Sheila, you’re flushing your life down the toilet with that guy.

I still love you.

Also, devoted readers, here are some great advice tips for those who've caught their significant others with another guy:

1) Don't panic.  Panic shows weakness and weakness shows defeat.  And defeat shows something bad.  Something bad shows a blood clot and blood clots show a blemish on your skin and no one likes blemishes.  They're unbecoming and no one will ever date you if you have them.  So DON'T PANIC!

2) Instead, breathe out through your earlobes.  Pro-Doctors have tested this and found it eases you faster than breathing out of anything else.

2.5) Think about your blog and how famous you'll get once it hits the New York Times Beststeller Blog List.  Your chest will automatically puff to full capacity while your cheeks will show confidence.  Try not to kill a man during your adrenaline rush.

3) Then play a song about how stupid the lyric "blowing in the wind" sounds and sleep easy.  Congratulations.  Problem averted.